Before You Answer

Someone asks you something they could work out themselves. A supervisee, a client, an associate, a kid. There is a small window before you answer, and most of the time we spend it on how fast we can help rather than on whether helping helps.

Answering is not the wrong move. It is just not the free one. This sheet is for slowing that window down enough to see what you are actually choosing.

What's inside

1. Bring one recent moment to mind. Who asked, and what did they ask for?

2. Could they have worked it out themselves? Be honest about how much of it they already had.

3. What would it have cost them to work it out right then, in that particular moment?

   Time, confidence, momentum, standing in front of other people.

4. What did you actually do? Not what you meant to do.

5. If you answered, what was your reason? Write it as a sentence you would be willing to say out loud.

6. Does that reason hold up, or was it mostly faster for you?

   Both can be true. Notice which one was doing more of the work.

7. What is one question you are going to stop answering, and what will you offer instead?

Sometimes the answer is genuinely the right thing to hand over. The point is not to withhold. The point is to know why, and to be able to say so.